crazylamb1 (crazylamb1) wrote,
crazylamb1
crazylamb1

From the old to the new

Lots of reminiscing tonight... Thought back to some old days, old feelings... realised that they're probably just fond (and in some instances bitter) memories and that time has done it's job fairly well.

I think I'm finally ready to move on to a new phase as far as said person is concerned. After not having communicated at all in the past... nearly 4 months, the heart has finally put a seal on what was.. and I think it can finally progress to a new stage emotionally. I don't think new messages, new contact would cause old feelings to resurface - not anymore. Maybe just a memory of old feelings, but not the feelings themselves. At last. We have reached the point. The scars have been healed.

It's been far too long... 3 and a half years now. It's about time.

As for the boi.. I don't really care what happens there. I'm a little disappointed by who he is..what he's like. If I never heard from him again, I wouldn't care.. or, if I find it doesn't bother me, we may stay "friends with benefits". I mean, if it doesn't bother me to be friends with such a person... we'll see. Once I'm around him more. I haven't seen him since I learned a few new things about him... I don't know what that'll be like.

Oh, and the gal.. I really dig the gal. I want the gal. Please oh please let her be non-straight. Let her like me. She's such a cutie... reminds me a little of two gals I previously was into. That may be why specifically those two gals entered my mind today. Two old crushes. Well. One was more than just a crush. Yes, the one I talked about at the beginning of this post. But it's odd that she reminds me of both of them, when those two never reminded me of each other in any way. Actually, she doesn't remind me of Liz as much as the other gal... but there's just SOMETHING... a very little part of her reminds me of Liz. Quite tiny really. And I can't explain what it is... As for my other old-crush, there's really some resemblence. Not so much physically, but her mannerisms... her presence.

Oh screw this all. Nothing ever works out. To predict: things will now fully fall apart w/ the boi. The grrl will turn out to be straight. And the other two gals that have shown some interest in me will just sort of disappear (one has already started to... the other seems weird and stupid and wants to have a gal to screw around with when her boyfriend isn't around). And that covers it.

Nothing ever works out.

Will that ever change for me?

Fuck it all.

I shouldn't be thinking about this. Not now. Must focus on exams. *sigh* Why can't I just skip this part...

*rolls eyes* I'm tiring myself out. Anyone else tired of my whining?
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